Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize