This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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