Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
