You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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