You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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