Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
