Sober January is a disaster.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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