I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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