I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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