she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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