Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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