I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
