Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize