i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
