haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
