Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
