There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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