They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
