Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize