Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
