check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
