i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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