PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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