That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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