I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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