im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
