i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
