we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
