i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
