what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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