problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
