Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I currently don't understand fingers.
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