I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
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