You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
