ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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