The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
