Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
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