nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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