who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
