It was confusing and full of hummus
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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