she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
