We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
