Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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