and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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