Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Randomize
