just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
