yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I think people are normalizing furries
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
