you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize