Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
