It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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