I am in a vortex of obligation.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
