You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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