what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
