TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I smell like Dick and happiness
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