dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
