Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
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