turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
