just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
