oh god the rape fog is back!
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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