I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
