i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
