TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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