I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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